1
00:00:22,827 --> 00:00:26,011
Yeah... what are those
kids complaining about?
2
00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:35,000
Malcolm in the Middle
7.10 - "Malcolm's Money"
3
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:46,000
Synchronisation par Max and Tyno,
Script original par Raceman.
4
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:57,000
Forom.com, Life-is-Unfair.tk
and Malcolm-France.com
5
00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:06,098
Four, three, two...
6
00:01:06,589 --> 00:01:07,515
brown...
7
00:01:08,828 --> 00:01:09,578
clear...
8
00:01:10,584 --> 00:01:11,568
brown again...
9
00:01:13,285 --> 00:01:13,922
good.
10
00:01:14,645 --> 00:01:15,995
What about this watch, Dad?
11
00:01:16,136 --> 00:01:17,459
It's only $12.99.
12
00:01:17,460 --> 00:01:18,971
That's where they get you, son.
13
00:01:19,001 --> 00:01:22,275
See, it says $12.99, but that
doesn't include the hidden costs.
14
00:01:22,391 --> 00:01:24,607
Shipping, handling, box tops...
15
00:01:24,942 --> 00:01:28,192
By the time you're through you're
paying on the high side of $15.
16
00:01:28,364 --> 00:01:30,027
I've never owned a $15 watch.
17
00:01:30,199 --> 00:01:31,631
But I need one, Dad!
18
00:01:31,684 --> 00:01:34,834
Son, a cork and a piece of string
make a perfectly fine sundial
19
00:01:35,033 --> 00:01:38,120
and a great conversation
piece with the ladies.
20
00:01:39,813 --> 00:01:42,499
Malcolm, aren't you having your
yearbook picture taken today?
21
00:01:42,529 --> 00:01:42,934
Yep.
22
00:01:43,649 --> 00:01:45,848
Well, don't you think it would be
nice to get a little dressed up for it?
23
00:01:45,878 --> 00:01:47,895
Why? I'm never going to
see these people again.
24
00:01:47,925 --> 00:01:50,408
They're just a bunch of shallow jerks
who don't care about anything but
25
00:01:50,438 --> 00:01:54,188
who's instant-messaging who, and who's
going to the stupid Moonlight Dance.
26
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,077
A bunch of kids in formal clothes,
barefoot on the beach...
27
00:01:57,107 --> 00:01:58,094
It's just pathetic.
28
00:01:58,634 --> 00:02:00,378
And I wouldn't have gone
even if they told me about it.
29
00:02:00,408 --> 00:02:01,758
Here's your uniform, Reese.
30
00:02:01,816 --> 00:02:03,951
You're really lucky you got
your old job back again.
31
00:02:03,981 --> 00:02:07,581
Lucky? They have me on the delivery
route, hauling stuff around all day.
32
00:02:07,828 --> 00:02:13,228
At least when I worked in the slaughter
house, there were breaks every couple of hours to find guys' fingers.
33
00:02:15,282 --> 00:02:16,566
Hey, man, is my tie straight?
34
00:02:16,596 --> 00:02:17,099
Yeah...
35
00:02:18,243 --> 00:02:20,875
Wow, everyone's taking these
yearbook pictures pretty seriously, huh?
36
00:02:20,905 --> 00:02:21,705
Are you kidding?
37
00:02:21,905 --> 00:02:25,450
This is how everyone's going to
remember us for the rest of our lives.
38
00:02:25,544 --> 00:02:27,280
Yeah, it's like a time capsule.
39
00:02:27,496 --> 00:02:32,646
I mean, our children are going to
look at these pictures years from now to see what we used to be like.
40
00:02:32,746 --> 00:02:34,136
Isn't that right, sweetie?
41
00:02:34,513 --> 00:02:36,288
Yes... yes, it is.
42
00:02:40,082 --> 00:02:40,732
Great.
43
00:02:40,849 --> 00:02:41,544
Next!
44
00:02:42,868 --> 00:02:44,513
Oh, another rebel, huh?
45
00:02:44,707 --> 00:02:45,155
What?
46
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:48,536
I get it, kid. The T-shirt, the
scowl... you're a tough guy.
47
00:02:48,625 --> 00:02:49,475
You're dangerous.
48
00:02:49,522 --> 00:02:51,308
I see that a lot with
you scrawny ones.
49
00:02:51,338 --> 00:02:52,423
No, that's not...
50
00:02:52,424 --> 00:02:54,314
Come on, Chachi,
let's get it over with.
51
00:02:54,344 --> 00:02:56,394
I made a mistake.
I'd like to re-sched...
52
00:02:59,569 --> 00:03:00,856
Take that, society.
53
00:03:01,493 --> 00:03:02,361
Next!
54
00:03:07,112 --> 00:03:08,339
Hi, Dewey. How was school?
55
00:03:08,369 --> 00:03:09,071
Terrible!
56
00:03:09,292 --> 00:03:12,013
I missed the school bus because
I didn't know what time it was,
57
00:03:12,043 --> 00:03:15,408
and then I was late for a spelling test
because I didn't know what time it was,
58
00:03:15,438 --> 00:03:19,047
and then David Klausner beat me up
because I didn't know what time it was!
59
00:03:19,077 --> 00:03:20,821
You want to know what
time it is, Dewey?
60
00:03:20,851 --> 00:03:24,534
It's half past a roof over your head,
clean clothes, and three meals a day.
61
00:03:24,564 --> 00:03:25,532
That's what time it is!
62
00:03:25,562 --> 00:03:26,853
Let me tell you something, Mom.
63
00:03:26,883 --> 00:03:30,233
The roof leaks, the clothes are
hand-me-downs, and the food stinks!
64
00:03:30,271 --> 00:03:31,418
-Room!
-Dirty.
65
00:03:33,197 --> 00:03:34,145
This is interesting.
66
00:03:34,175 --> 00:03:38,475
Our credit card company sent
us a collection notice and an application for a new card.
67
00:03:40,176 --> 00:03:41,597
Oh, my God!
68
00:03:41,827 --> 00:03:42,424
What is it?
69
00:03:43,029 --> 00:03:45,646
It's a check for
Malcolm for $10,000!
70
00:03:45,772 --> 00:03:46,240
What?!
71
00:03:46,666 --> 00:03:47,452
You're joking!
72
00:03:47,458 --> 00:03:52,015
No, no, no! It says it's from a
McClellan Fellowship Genius Grant to further his education...
73
00:03:52,045 --> 00:03:53,299
No strings attached!
74
00:03:53,304 --> 00:03:55,581
I can't believe it!
This is fantastic!
75
00:03:55,650 --> 00:03:56,659
It's amazing!
76
00:03:57,071 --> 00:03:59,547
I've never seen so many zeroes on
that side of the decimal point!
77
00:03:59,577 --> 00:04:01,417
Can you imagine what
he could do with that?
78
00:04:01,447 --> 00:04:03,397
Imagine what anyone
could do with that!
79
00:04:04,530 --> 00:04:06,280
Imagine what we
could do with that.
80
00:04:06,608 --> 00:04:07,800
What are you talking about?
81
00:04:07,830 --> 00:04:08,430
Nothing.
82
00:04:09,730 --> 00:04:13,240
All I'm saying is that we can do
a lot with this kind of money.
83
00:04:13,676 --> 00:04:17,038
-But it's not ours, Hal; it's Malcolm's.
-Of course, it's Malcolm's.
84
00:04:17,209 --> 00:04:22,021
But we have to take a moment
to think about what a teenager is going to do with $10,000.
85
00:04:22,170 --> 00:04:26,623
Well, you know he's just going to
blow it all on Legos and penny candy.
86
00:04:27,029 --> 00:04:32,185
Besides, it's not like Dr. Braniac. He
isn't gonna get a free ride to whatever college he wants to go to, right?
87
00:04:32,215 --> 00:04:34,342
I don't think I like
where this is going, Hal.
88
00:04:34,372 --> 00:04:37,625
Lois, all I'm thinking
about is protecting Malcolm.
89
00:04:37,968 --> 00:04:45,569
I mean, sure, he's got that brilliant mind,
but right now it is being held hostage by gallons of crazy teenage hormones.
90
00:04:46,117 --> 00:04:51,367
All I'm saying is maybe we should
hold onto this for a little while, before we decide what to do with it.
91
00:04:51,826 --> 00:04:52,997
Yeah, but Hal...
92
00:04:53,003 --> 00:04:55,250
Thanks, Mom, for letting me go
to picture day dressed like this.
93
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,180
You made me look
like a total jackass!
94
00:04:57,187 --> 00:04:59,937
It's not your picture;
you don't care what I look like.
95
00:05:00,541 --> 00:05:01,398
Any mail for me?
96
00:05:04,572 --> 00:05:04,958
No.
97
00:05:12,065 --> 00:05:13,789
Geez, my feet are killing me.
98
00:05:13,798 --> 00:05:16,921
I told you, you gotta let the
blood drip into your shoes.
99
00:05:17,321 --> 00:05:20,844
Once it coagulates, then it's
like walking on puffy clouds.
100
00:05:22,879 --> 00:05:26,030
Look at all these people, sitting
here, just waiting for death.
101
00:05:26,217 --> 00:05:29,317
Yeah, I'd like to show those
animal rights whackos this place.
102
00:05:29,509 --> 00:05:32,609
This is exactly what would
happen to cows if it wasn't for us.
103
00:05:33,296 --> 00:05:36,196
Wait here. I'm gonna get
someone to sign for the delivery.
104
00:05:49,542 --> 00:05:50,717
Thanks for beating Hitler.
105
00:05:50,747 --> 00:05:52,597
Now we're gonna
watch something else.
106
00:05:55,900 --> 00:05:56,554
Thank you.
107
00:05:58,576 --> 00:05:59,907
This is pretty sweet.
108
00:06:00,214 --> 00:06:04,092
Man, it's true what they say
old age is wasted on the old.
109
00:06:13,836 --> 00:06:15,094
Hal, there's nobody home.
110
00:06:15,178 --> 00:06:16,378
We can't be too careful.
111
00:06:16,488 --> 00:06:17,838
Meet me at the clothesline!
112
00:06:22,541 --> 00:06:24,470
See, Hal?
You know this is wrong.
113
00:06:24,631 --> 00:06:26,311
You're acting like you
have something to hide!
114
00:06:26,341 --> 00:06:28,734
What are you talking about?
It's a beautiful day.
115
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:30,623
Since when is it a crime
to get some fresh air?
116
00:06:30,653 --> 00:06:32,864
No, I thought about it,
and it is just wrong.
117
00:06:32,894 --> 00:06:34,604
We're giving that
money back to Malcolm.
118
00:06:34,634 --> 00:06:38,284
Besides, the check is made out to him.
The bank probably wouldn't even...
119
00:06:40,497 --> 00:06:41,754
Put that away!
120
00:06:43,558 --> 00:06:45,275
No, wait, let me see it again!
121
00:06:45,690 --> 00:06:46,801
Oh, my God.
122
00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:50,187
No, we're not going to do this.
123
00:06:50,406 --> 00:06:52,470
Honey, you are looking
at this all wrong.
124
00:06:52,642 --> 00:06:53,985
We will pay him back.
125
00:06:54,357 --> 00:06:55,778
We are like a bank.
126
00:06:56,009 --> 00:06:59,051
And banks don't give you back the
same exact money that you gave them.
127
00:06:59,081 --> 00:07:02,331
They use it, and then pay you back
with different money later on.
128
00:07:02,424 --> 00:07:04,890
It's what makes our economy
the envy of the world.
129
00:07:04,920 --> 00:07:06,634
I don't know.
It just seems wrong.
130
00:07:06,675 --> 00:07:09,031
Look at it as a
forced savings plan.
131
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:10,946
We're actually
doing him a favor.
132
00:07:11,742 --> 00:07:17,257
Lois, I can honestly say that I was
not a good father to Malcolm until I forged his signature on that check.
133
00:07:19,915 --> 00:07:21,306
And we're going to
pay him back, right?
134
00:07:21,336 --> 00:07:23,541
Absolutely every cent we spend.
135
00:07:23,933 --> 00:07:24,860
Plus interest.
136
00:07:24,907 --> 00:07:26,486
With no hidden handling fees.
137
00:07:34,387 --> 00:07:34,997
Okay.
138
00:07:35,368 --> 00:07:36,005
Good.
139
00:07:36,643 --> 00:07:39,443
Honey, we have absolutely
nothing to be ashamed of here.
140
00:07:39,980 --> 00:07:41,230
Okay, you go back
into the house.
141
00:07:41,260 --> 00:07:42,560
I'll follow in 30 seconds.
142
00:07:43,177 --> 00:07:43,859
Go on!
143
00:07:45,629 --> 00:07:46,592
Good. Next!
144
00:07:47,193 --> 00:07:48,629
Sorry, pal,
you had your chance.
145
00:07:48,659 --> 00:07:50,482
No! You have to take
my picture again!
146
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:51,128
Please!
147
00:07:51,528 --> 00:07:54,070
I thought I didn't care what
people think of me, but I do.
148
00:07:54,100 --> 00:07:55,027
I really do!
149
00:07:55,325 --> 00:07:59,075
Look, kid, I'm making 20 cents a head,
and re-shoots come out of my pocket.
150
00:07:59,096 --> 00:08:01,300
That adds up to "I
don't give a crap."
151
00:08:01,344 --> 00:08:04,995
Don't blame me that you're a no-talent
clown who couldn't even cut it at Sears!
152
00:08:05,025 --> 00:08:07,475
I'm not going anywhere
until you take my picture!
153
00:08:08,218 --> 00:08:08,642
Fine.
154
00:08:09,587 --> 00:08:10,108
Let's go.
155
00:08:11,576 --> 00:08:13,626
Let's just get rid of
some of that shine.
156
00:08:23,660 --> 00:08:24,585
What did you do?!
157
00:08:25,104 --> 00:08:26,173
I look terrible!
158
00:08:26,247 --> 00:08:27,597
It looks pretty good to me.
159
00:08:27,691 --> 00:08:29,996
But that's just one
clown's opinion. Next!
160
00:09:15,802 --> 00:09:17,452
Aren't you the
meat delivery guy?
161
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:19,330
What the hell are
you doing here?
162
00:09:20,071 --> 00:09:21,456
I, um...
163
00:09:21,498 --> 00:09:23,050
He's my grandson.
164
00:09:23,674 --> 00:09:25,475
He's here visiting me.
165
00:09:28,154 --> 00:09:29,739
Hi, Grandma.
166
00:09:30,158 --> 00:09:31,899
It's great to see you.
167
00:09:32,098 --> 00:09:33,844
You can drop the act, kid.
168
00:09:33,980 --> 00:09:35,661
I haven't lost my marbles.
169
00:09:36,041 --> 00:09:39,227
I just like seeing someone
have some fun around here.
170
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:43,455
Clothesline.
171
00:09:48,135 --> 00:09:50,344
I got an estimate
for the new pipes!
172
00:09:50,742 --> 00:09:53,004
Think of it, Hal clean
water, on demand,
173
00:09:53,293 --> 00:09:56,149
the decision of hot or cold
water entirely up to us!
174
00:09:56,343 --> 00:10:03,304
Yes, well, we could spend the
money on new pipes, or we could put a down payment on her.
175
00:10:04,261 --> 00:10:05,787
-Where did you get this?
-At the boat show.
176
00:10:05,817 --> 00:10:06,472
Boat show?
177
00:10:06,538 --> 00:10:13,010
Lois, I was on my way to work, when all
of a sudden I see this giant billboard for the boat show, only 60 miles away!
178
00:10:13,727 --> 00:10:18,992
Now I'm not saying there's
an invisible hand guiding our lives, but what are the odds?
179
00:10:19,181 --> 00:10:20,866
We're not wasting
the money on a boat.
180
00:10:20,896 --> 00:10:23,333
It's not wasting,
it's investing!
181
00:10:23,597 --> 00:10:25,675
A boat is a money-maker, Lois.
182
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:30,531
Do you know how many opportunities
we have missed out on because we weren't traveling in the right circles?
183
00:10:30,561 --> 00:10:32,945
Where are all the
connections being made,
184
00:10:32,986 --> 00:10:35,973
the elbows being rubbed,
the deals going down?
185
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:37,989
-The yacht club!
-Forget it!
186
00:10:38,321 --> 00:10:40,804
We're not spending
Malcolm's money on a boat.
187
00:10:40,907 --> 00:10:41,856
That's final!
188
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:43,866
Lois...
189
00:10:52,831 --> 00:10:54,792
You're looking at
this the wrong way.
190
00:10:54,826 --> 00:10:56,829
It's not Malcolm's
money anymore.
191
00:10:56,965 --> 00:10:59,493
Until we pay him
back, it's ours.
192
00:11:02,121 --> 00:11:06,621
All right, maybe I was reaching
too far with the big one, but just take a look at these...
193
00:11:08,287 --> 00:11:09,020
Huh?
194
00:11:09,576 --> 00:11:13,171
You can choose the Wave
Skimmer or the Weekender.
195
00:11:15,174 --> 00:11:16,074
What do you think?
196
00:11:18,158 --> 00:11:19,105
I like this one.
197
00:11:21,313 --> 00:11:22,145
Unbelievable!
198
00:11:22,275 --> 00:11:24,304
You know what's going on, Mom?
How could he do this to me?!
199
00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:26,651
Malcolm, I know it looks bad,
but let me explain!
200
00:11:26,681 --> 00:11:28,218
Don't try and stick
up for him, Mom.
201
00:11:28,248 --> 00:11:31,069
Oh, Malcolm, I know he's
not perfect, but I love him.
202
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:34,268
You love my yearbook
photographer?
203
00:11:35,538 --> 00:11:36,155
Yes.
204
00:11:36,459 --> 00:11:42,237
Well... maybe love is too strong a
word for it, but he does great work.
205
00:11:42,350 --> 00:11:44,606
The guy's hired to take
good yearbook pictures!
206
00:11:44,636 --> 00:11:48,670
Now my grandchildren are gonna
look at my photo in 50 years and think that their grandfather was a dork!
207
00:11:48,700 --> 00:11:51,700
Well, then I'm going to have to
rethink my feelings for him.
208
00:11:54,616 --> 00:11:55,266
Hello?
209
00:11:56,213 --> 00:11:57,423
Uh, yes.
210
00:11:57,797 --> 00:11:58,889
'Ello, Guv'nor.
211
00:11:59,026 --> 00:12:00,766
Is your mum at home?
212
00:12:00,823 --> 00:12:01,425
It's Dad.
213
00:12:03,755 --> 00:12:04,354
Hal?
214
00:12:04,634 --> 00:12:05,584
Clothesline.
215
00:12:08,590 --> 00:12:09,640
What's he doing here?
216
00:12:09,681 --> 00:12:10,441
He's in.
217
00:12:10,466 --> 00:12:10,845
What?!
218
00:12:11,035 --> 00:12:12,300
-How did...
-He just is!
219
00:12:12,687 --> 00:12:16,637
Look, it's isn't important
how it happened. Let's just move on with this, okay?
220
00:12:16,985 --> 00:12:19,640
Look, Dewey, you understand
we're not stealing this money.
221
00:12:19,670 --> 00:12:22,381
Every cent is going back
to Malcolm. We're a bank.
222
00:12:22,747 --> 00:12:25,714
Yeah, well, this bank is
getting a Rolex. A big one.
223
00:12:25,915 --> 00:12:28,055
That money is going towards
new pipes for the house!
224
00:12:28,085 --> 00:12:29,741
She can spend her share
any way she wants.
225
00:12:29,771 --> 00:12:32,066
And I'm spending my
share on a Rolex.
226
00:12:32,465 --> 00:12:33,316
I think I've earned it.
227
00:12:33,346 --> 00:12:35,112
There are no shares!
Listen to me!
228
00:12:35,449 --> 00:12:37,199
We are not splitting
up that money!
229
00:12:37,352 --> 00:12:38,401
Who put you in charge?
230
00:12:38,431 --> 00:12:40,218
Yeah, who put you
in charge? Let's vote.
231
00:12:40,248 --> 00:12:41,554
There will be no voting!
232
00:12:41,675 --> 00:12:42,775
I vote there's voting.
233
00:12:42,848 --> 00:12:43,415
Me, too.
234
00:12:44,899 --> 00:12:46,763
-I'm going to get the money.
-It's not there anymore.
235
00:12:46,793 --> 00:12:47,405
I moved it.
236
00:12:47,702 --> 00:12:48,543
I know.
237
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,424
I moved it from
where you moved it.
238
00:12:50,454 --> 00:12:51,504
And I moved it again.
239
00:12:51,696 --> 00:12:52,013
What?
240
00:12:52,260 --> 00:12:55,360
I was the one who came
up with this idea... -The money is safe.
241
00:12:56,739 --> 00:12:57,213
Give it!
242
00:13:03,892 --> 00:13:05,153
And that...
243
00:13:06,405 --> 00:13:07,493
is the French Tuck!
244
00:13:10,587 --> 00:13:14,682
I don't know. It sounds to me like
he was asking to be beaten up.
245
00:13:14,683 --> 00:13:15,659
That's what I said!
246
00:13:16,018 --> 00:13:18,458
Just because you're a crossing
guard, you're suddenly off limits?
247
00:13:18,488 --> 00:13:19,649
"Walk, don't walk..."
248
00:13:19,804 --> 00:13:21,559
Who the hell is he
to boss me around?
249
00:13:21,589 --> 00:13:23,889
It's nice to see someone
with a little spirit.
250
00:13:24,117 --> 00:13:26,831
So many young people just
lie about the house,
251
00:13:26,832 --> 00:13:30,272
just watching their
Miami Vice and MTV's.
252
00:13:31,061 --> 00:13:31,776
Pie?
253
00:13:32,317 --> 00:13:33,307
This is great.
254
00:13:33,688 --> 00:13:35,664
I never knew old
people could be nice.
255
00:13:35,931 --> 00:13:39,312
I thought you were all wrinkled
bags of skin babbling about how stuff used to cost less.
256
00:13:39,342 --> 00:13:44,185
No, some are like that, but there's a
few of us who still have some life left.
257
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:50,510
Who's the geezer?
258
00:13:50,582 --> 00:13:51,540
That's Teddy.
259
00:13:51,783 --> 00:13:53,012
Handsome, isn't he?
260
00:13:53,735 --> 00:13:54,813
You want me to push
you over to him?
261
00:13:54,843 --> 00:13:56,696
No, I don't think that
would be a good idea.
262
00:13:56,726 --> 00:13:59,850
See, we're not allowed to
have romances around here.
263
00:13:59,857 --> 00:14:03,923
It's as if they don't think we're
capable of having feelings anymore.
264
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,644
That is totally unfair!
265
00:14:05,981 --> 00:14:09,312
I mean, as long as the two of
you can see each other naked and still keep your lunches down,
266
00:14:09,342 --> 00:14:12,092
you should be able to do
whatever it is you want to do.
267
00:14:15,393 --> 00:14:15,955
Thank you.
268
00:14:17,822 --> 00:14:20,338
Okay, I alphabetized
all the seniors' names,
269
00:14:20,551 --> 00:14:22,838
helped lug your equipment for
three days from here to your shop
270
00:14:22,868 --> 00:14:24,935
and I held the lights for
those creepy photo shoots.
271
00:14:24,965 --> 00:14:26,915
You have to take
another picture of me.
272
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:29,773
You held up your part of the bargain,
I'll hold up mine. Sit down.
273
00:14:29,803 --> 00:14:30,481
Thank you!
274
00:14:32,382 --> 00:14:33,391
Chin to the left...
275
00:14:34,259 --> 00:14:35,459
Square your shoulders...
276
00:14:36,945 --> 00:14:37,706
Smile!
277
00:14:44,838 --> 00:14:45,988
What did you do to me?!
278
00:14:46,310 --> 00:14:47,428
I look like a freak!
279
00:14:48,210 --> 00:14:49,439
Kid, that's you.
280
00:14:49,746 --> 00:14:51,046
That's what you look like.
281
00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:53,442
I can't let my grandchildren
see me like that!
282
00:14:53,472 --> 00:14:54,422
You have to fix it!
283
00:14:54,693 --> 00:14:57,143
Put on a special filter,
or-or brighter lights...
284
00:14:57,189 --> 00:14:58,178
Please, do something!
285
00:14:58,208 --> 00:15:00,327
Sorry, kid.
That's the best I can do.
286
00:15:00,698 --> 00:15:03,222
I'm a yearbook photographer,
not a magician.
287
00:15:12,988 --> 00:15:13,988
Where have you been?
288
00:15:14,418 --> 00:15:15,286
School.
289
00:15:15,368 --> 00:15:17,210
That story better
hold up, Mister.
290
00:15:17,337 --> 00:15:19,048
Your father wants to
count the money again.
291
00:15:19,078 --> 00:15:22,278
I just think we all get along
better when we know it's all here.
292
00:15:22,448 --> 00:15:24,330
By the way, I'm going
to need some of this.
293
00:15:24,360 --> 00:15:26,410
I got an estimate to
fix my transmission.
294
00:15:26,717 --> 00:15:30,945
This receipt is from 1986, Hal!
I can see where you erased the date!
295
00:15:31,091 --> 00:15:31,827
Amateur.
296
00:15:32,066 --> 00:15:36,206
Oh, yeah? Well, how do I know
this plumber's for real, and not just some actor that you hired?
297
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,863
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I held auditions
while you were at work, Hal!
298
00:15:38,893 --> 00:15:39,790
I knew it!
299
00:15:39,819 --> 00:15:41,675
Listen to yourself!
You've gone insane!
300
00:15:41,705 --> 00:15:44,360
That would be pretty convenient
for you, wouldn't it?
301
00:15:44,385 --> 00:15:46,211
Well, you are not
locking me away!
302
00:15:46,212 --> 00:15:48,402
I haven't trusted either
of you since I was six!
303
00:15:48,432 --> 00:15:50,532
All right, all right,
let's just split it.
304
00:15:50,668 --> 00:15:52,418
Three ways,
and we'll all be happy.
305
00:15:52,633 --> 00:15:54,532
I wouldn't say happy,
but it's a start.
306
00:15:54,562 --> 00:15:55,689
I have a better idea.
307
00:15:56,657 --> 00:16:00,050
We just stop this nonsense and
give the money back to Malcolm.
308
00:16:00,186 --> 00:16:01,811
Okay, you can have your pipes.
309
00:16:01,813 --> 00:16:04,125
No, Hal, this isn't
a bargaining tool.
310
00:16:04,478 --> 00:16:06,493
This money has turned
us into animals.
311
00:16:07,098 --> 00:16:10,402
I'm going down to the bank
tomorrow morning and getting a cashier's check in Malcolm's name.
312
00:16:10,432 --> 00:16:14,582
Then the three of us can
slink away and forget that this whole thing ever happened.
313
00:16:17,321 --> 00:16:18,771
Can't you control that woman?
314
00:16:18,994 --> 00:16:21,230
Watch your tone, young man!
315
00:16:21,279 --> 00:16:21,951
Or else what?
316
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:23,889
You'll just cave,
like you did with Mom.
317
00:16:23,919 --> 00:16:25,819
All right, that's it!
Go to your room!
318
00:16:30,317 --> 00:16:32,567
I think maybe we should
both go to our rooms.
319
00:16:33,709 --> 00:16:34,448
Fine!
320
00:16:48,385 --> 00:16:50,414
Code blue! Code blue!
321
00:17:26,793 --> 00:17:29,102
I think some of these
are Viagra. Go for it.
322
00:17:29,392 --> 00:17:30,820
What can we do to repay you?
323
00:17:31,848 --> 00:17:33,498
Give me a five-minute head start.
324
00:17:38,571 --> 00:17:40,929
Honey, we want to apologize.
325
00:17:41,647 --> 00:17:42,191
Yeah.
326
00:17:42,390 --> 00:17:43,140
You were right.
327
00:17:43,384 --> 00:17:44,884
We were turning into monsters.
328
00:17:45,510 --> 00:17:46,160
The bad kind.
329
00:17:46,212 --> 00:17:48,443
You're just so much
stronger than we are.
330
00:17:48,616 --> 00:17:50,248
Thank God for
your levelheadedness.
331
00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:53,860
Thank God there was someone in this
house who was able to keep their sanity.
332
00:17:53,890 --> 00:17:56,353
And you taught us a lot of
important lessons about...
333
00:17:56,383 --> 00:17:57,819
honesty and trust.
334
00:17:59,098 --> 00:17:59,831
So...
335
00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:02,629
if you'll just tell us
where you hid the money...
336
00:18:06,342 --> 00:18:08,116
I've done something very bad.
337
00:18:08,513 --> 00:18:08,914
What?
338
00:18:15,062 --> 00:18:18,112
There was this antique store
across the street from the bank.
339
00:18:18,188 --> 00:18:20,138
And I saw this
dollhouse in the window.
340
00:18:20,621 --> 00:18:22,893
And the next thing I knew,
I was walking out with it.
341
00:18:22,923 --> 00:18:25,673
It was like that money in my
pocket killed the old Lois
342
00:18:25,808 --> 00:18:27,758
and replaced her with
a crazy person...
343
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:29,800
It's okay, honey. I mean...
344
00:18:30,051 --> 00:18:34,001
So what if you spent a couple
hundred dollars on a dollhouse? It's no big deal.
345
00:18:34,224 --> 00:18:35,924
Now where's the
rest of the money?
346
00:18:36,012 --> 00:18:36,929
There isn't any.
347
00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:37,455
What?!
348
00:18:37,904 --> 00:18:42,325
You-You spent ten thousand
dollars on a stupid dollhouse?!
349
00:18:42,329 --> 00:18:43,389
They wanted 12.
350
00:18:43,819 --> 00:18:44,667
But look, Hal...
351
00:18:44,741 --> 00:18:47,951
it has a tiny little dumbwaiter,
and the lights really work.
352
00:19:04,694 --> 00:19:05,244
Hi, Judith.
353
00:19:05,788 --> 00:19:07,256
Oh, hello, Reese.
354
00:19:07,672 --> 00:19:11,579
I want to thank you so much
for everything you've done.
355
00:19:11,637 --> 00:19:13,661
It felt good to do something
nice for a change.
356
00:19:13,691 --> 00:19:16,841
I'm seriously thinking about
peppering that into my repertoire.
357
00:19:17,010 --> 00:19:20,287
Are you the one who helped Judith
and Teddy get together yesterday?
358
00:19:20,317 --> 00:19:22,067
Yes, I am, and
I would do it again.
359
00:19:22,171 --> 00:19:23,540
Your rules are just stupid.
360
00:19:23,721 --> 00:19:26,212
I mean, who does it hurt to
let two old people be happy?
361
00:19:26,242 --> 00:19:27,882
You whore!
362
00:19:28,094 --> 00:19:29,713
You stole my husband!
363
00:19:30,758 --> 00:19:36,295
No, I just used him without your
permission and gave him back to you...
364
00:19:37,361 --> 00:19:40,466
Just like someone did
with my sewing machine.
365
00:19:41,981 --> 00:19:42,743
Look at her.
366
00:19:43,597 --> 00:19:46,264
I couldn't say no!
How can you say no to that?
367
00:19:46,265 --> 00:19:48,565
Oh, shut up, you old fool!
368
00:19:49,027 --> 00:19:50,667
Wait! I can fix this!
369
00:19:50,997 --> 00:19:53,547
Just get back at him by
sleeping with someone else!
370
00:19:54,833 --> 00:19:55,533
How about him?
371
00:19:58,034 --> 00:20:00,434
When he has his teeth in,
he's quite the looker!
372
00:20:05,259 --> 00:20:06,891
Okay, I sold my car.
373
00:20:07,205 --> 00:20:11,505
Well, we'll add that to what
I got for my engagement ring and my grandmother's pearls.
374
00:20:11,733 --> 00:20:16,033
No one wanted to buy my bike,
but a bunch of kids did pay to watch me eat a centipede.
375
00:20:17,274 --> 00:20:18,674
We're doing the right thing.
376
00:20:18,693 --> 00:20:20,007
We should all remember that.
377
00:20:20,037 --> 00:20:21,288
Quit sermonizing.
378
00:20:21,462 --> 00:20:24,112
I'll get enough of that from
the nut-jobs on the bus.
379
00:20:28,372 --> 00:20:29,654
You guys aren't
gonna believe it!
380
00:20:29,684 --> 00:20:34,055
I got a McClellan
Fellowship Grant for $3,857!
381
00:20:34,781 --> 00:20:36,153
That's wonderful, Malcolm!
382
00:20:36,416 --> 00:20:37,585
Congratulations, son.
383
00:20:37,798 --> 00:20:39,728
Yeah, congratulations.
384
00:20:39,899 --> 00:20:41,546
This couldn't have
come at a better time!
385
00:20:41,576 --> 00:20:43,626
I know exactly what
I'm gonna do with it!
386
00:20:44,101 --> 00:20:46,320
*Beverly Hills*
387
00:20:46,689 --> 00:20:50,087
*That's where I want to play*
388
00:20:52,032 --> 00:20:55,042
*Living in Beverly Hills*
389
00:21:00,079 --> 00:21:01,815
Let's see them call
me a dork now.
390
00:21:01,865 --> 00:21:06,415
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